lord give me strength

well we have had a few lookers this week and even a second showing on the house, which is good because if I have to deal with this much longer I will go crazy. Jay is driving me insane. I think I may have to tell him to stop coming home on the weekends-for his own safety. He seems to continue to be in "boss" mode when he walks in the door Friday. I keep this house up all week long, I take care of the kids all week long, he comes home and questions everything. He gets mad that we just want to chill over the weekend and the kids want to play with their friends. I don't mind that, they want to spend time with them before they move and never see them again..He chose to go up to Oklahoma without us then he has to deal with it we both have to make sacrifices right now. I don't understand why we haven't got to move up there yet, I wanted to move over the thanksgiving weekend but that has changed. We don't need to buy a house there we can live in a townhome or something we have done that with every other move....Not sure whats going on I know it had to do alittle with me since I wasn't sure if I was moving or not....
We are having Jordans birthday this Sunday along with there going away party and Jordan said "mommy I think I am going to cry at my birthday party cause i don't want to move" and I said "don't worry it's okay to cry I will be crying too"

halloween fun

The kids enjoyed trick or treating with their friends. I went as Sarah Palin(future VP hopefully) my glasses our the transitions lens so they were dark but it still worked...We went to some friends house for a party later that night for the kids, they were tired so I took them home, Jay arrived later. We finally stopped handing out candy at 9:30...

The first pic is the kids at trunk or treat then the next is in the nieghborhood. Our street is lined with McCain/Palin signs

enough

when is enough enough, when you tell him you don't want to leave this place that you have grown to love, when you want so bad to say i will only go if you promise me we will stay there until the kids graduate. Its not just I want to stay here in Tyler I do but I just want to take a loonnnnggg break on moving... I fear that when/if I go to Oklahoma I may have resentment towards jay and I don't want that. I also don't want to go and 2 years later we move again. Every move is so hard, having to start everything all over not just for the kids but me too. Corpus was hard to leave(especially watching Eric cry) and I was angry at jay for the longest but I knew I needed to leave their . I didn't want Eric to go to the next school. So I knew God had his hands in that. I am sure he does this time but I always felt God wanted me to find Tyler since I feel so calm here, I don't know what it is about here. Its home to me. Stay in Tyler, go to Oklahoma arghhhhhh. I know this isn't all about me and Jay does have his career but when is enough, enough.

I understand that loving a man shouldn't have to be this rough.....

pumpkin carving day

Every year I let Jay and the kids carve a pumpkin so this year we did it early since Jay has started his new job in Oklahoma. Jordan drew the face on the pumpkin and jay cuts the top off so they can scrap the insides and get all the pumpkin seeds. They love me to roast the pumpkin seeds with just salt and then they eat them up. We are busy this week, Eric has a birthday party on wednesday, then we have trunk or treat at St. Gregorys on thursday then friday is halloween. Then we have BOO at the ZOO on sat/sun not sure which day. Jordan will go as Mitchie(Camp Rock) on thursday and as Hannah Montana on Halloween and Eric will be a headbanger/rocker. I will post/send pics as soon as I get them up.... Happy Halloween

rub a dub dub 3 kids in a tub

The kids like to come over and fill this tub up and see if they can all get in there. First is Maggie, Rylee, and Jordan. Second is Madison, Sam and Jordan...

open house and the kids

Well we had an open house on sunday and had a total of 2 people. I know the market is bad, the economy is a little unsteady, banks worried and wanted more money down the list goes on and on. I am still unsure with getting a house in Oklahoma I guess I could always keep my home in Tyler as a vacation home since i want to come back here every chance I get. I know the kids would like that.. I felt like I had a real family here. So we will come back here to visit. I do know that Eric wants to get to Oklahoma soon so he can start meeting new friends. We are looking at going soon and picking out a house to hopefully be in by Thanksgiving and then start decorating for Christmas. I think we may get to have our 2nd snowy christmas. Our first was Corpus in 2004 and that was a miracle.
The kids are doing well in school Eric had 4 A's and 1 B on his report card and Jordan got all E's. Jordan is doing better with her reading and math. She gets tutoring on both everyday at school then we work on it after school as well. They have both made lots of friends and are looking forward to halloween at home in Tyler. Jordan is going to be Mitchie(camp rock) and Eric something scary i assume. The kids have parties these next few weekends and it happens to each of their best friends birthdays(Maggie and Hart).

Finally

well today is Jays last day with Baker Atlas, its alittle sad to see it ending since he has been there as long as we have been married. I feel like I lost alittle of ourselves with this change like he wanted something new, a change maybe well what else does he need to change?? I have been struggling with leaving Tyler much less Texas hopefully it will get better as it gets closer. I think I just hate seeing the tears in the kids eyes as they leave another group of close friends behind and worry that will they have a hard time later in life with getting close to people..I know they're young they'll be fine but will they...I know Jay is excited about going to work for Weatherford and his new position. I guess thats all that matters..Keep us in our prayers as we are trying to sell a house and buy a new one at the same time...

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.!!where is that????