enough

when is enough enough, when you tell him you don't want to leave this place that you have grown to love, when you want so bad to say i will only go if you promise me we will stay there until the kids graduate. Its not just I want to stay here in Tyler I do but I just want to take a loonnnnggg break on moving... I fear that when/if I go to Oklahoma I may have resentment towards jay and I don't want that. I also don't want to go and 2 years later we move again. Every move is so hard, having to start everything all over not just for the kids but me too. Corpus was hard to leave(especially watching Eric cry) and I was angry at jay for the longest but I knew I needed to leave their . I didn't want Eric to go to the next school. So I knew God had his hands in that. I am sure he does this time but I always felt God wanted me to find Tyler since I feel so calm here, I don't know what it is about here. Its home to me. Stay in Tyler, go to Oklahoma arghhhhhh. I know this isn't all about me and Jay does have his career but when is enough, enough.

I understand that loving a man shouldn't have to be this rough.....